Burn

I'm in love. It's a love that makes me ache, brings me to tears in both happiness and loss, leaves me breathless. It's a love that scares me at the same times as it lifts me. It gives me a purpose.

I'm in love with my calling.

I find that my time away from set leaves me feeling like a abandoned lover waiting to hear from their object of desire. There's a physical connection that pulls, a feeling of yearning, you wait breathlessly for the day that you can be reunited. It feels like a sickness which spreads.... there is no life other than that. The anticipation builds as at the same time, dread grows because you know it will all too soon be over and that you wait in limbo for the next opportunity.

There's also frustration..... You know what you have to give if only given the opportunity, but the craft is fickle and often stares past you. You stand in the background watching others playing your roles. Inside you harden your resolve.... Next time it will be me.

Acting is a a jealous mistress and she does not leave room in your heart for much else.... She demands your love, your devotion, your soul. Most often she disappoints you... but still you forgive all for those few stolen moments she brings you. Because in those few moments everything in the world is yours. You can be anyone, you are everyone. Bliss.

I'm in love.

I'm in love with my calling.